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check this out — April 9, 2015
11 Things Only Nigerians Will Think Are Funny —

11 Things Only Nigerians Will Think Are Funny

Ok my people, let me plateau us to some real fact about our humorous lifestyles.

1. Foreign accent

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English language is not an issue to any Nigerian but the moment you start speaking like a white man, you are in for a show. This is because you would be laughed to scorn; it doesn’t matter if you have spent your whole life in America.

2. Foreigners eating the local delicacies

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Nigerians do not believe that a foreigner would eat their local meals especially eba, fufu and other types of swallow, whenever they see a foreigner engrossed in such a meal, they cannot help it but laugh and sometime, they may even take a picture of these persons to show to friends.

3. Nollywood Stunts

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Once, Nollywood movie stunts were applauded but nowadays, people find some of the movies very funny because of the way some of their characters are projected. Take for instance, when you see an assumed ghost afraid to cross the road, looking left and right to check if its safe for him to cross. That is hilarious!
4. Being the first to arrive for parties

Coming late for parties is no longer something that Nigerians see as a problem, but when you are the first to come for a party or event, they think that you are coming for the meals and a lot of people may think that it is very funny to beat time for that event.
5. Eating fufu with knife and fork

Ahh…You don’t try this in a local food center. You would be laughed at because it is very strange and funny to a lot of people. They believed that Nigerian foods (swallows) are meant to be eaten with your hands and not to eat it with knife and fork. Fufu is a local food and they believe it should be eaten the way locals eat it.

6. Ladies fighting over a man

If men are fighting over a lady, they would allow them to fight or sometimes, scold them but when it comes to ladies fighting over a man, it is a different ball game. You should not be surprised when you see cars parked to watch these ladies fight because they think it is funny.

7. When you travel to an African country and come back with an American accent

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They believe that you must have lost your mind and would simply laugh over your accent. They believed that it is impossible for you to travel to an African country and come back with an American or British accent.

8. Nigerians who would not crush their chicken bones

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Bones are not only meant for the dogs especially chicken bones and fish bones, a lot of Nigerians find it funny when you eat just the flesh and leave behind a chunk of meat with bones. They simply believed that you should crush these bones.

9. Men who wear suit and tie and walk under a very hot weather

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The weather in Nigeria can be harsh during the dry season and it is very common to see a lot of Nigerians move around with suit and tie. It doesn’t matter if you are the bank manager when you walk aimlessly on the street without a car, Nigerians would believe that something may be wrong with you.

10. People who wear sun glasses at night

It is not a welcomed fashion savvy for Nigerians. They may think that you are blind and if they discover that you are not handicapped, the next thing is laughter because they don’t believe that you can see with such glasses.

11. A poor man with pot belly

The old belief that rich old men are those with pot bellies has not died in the modern world. It is difficult for a lot of people to believe that it is possible for a pot belly man to say that he is not having money.

Boko Haram Survivors Express Their Sad Experience Through Drawing – Pics —

Boko Haram Survivors Express Their Sad Experience Through Drawing – Pics

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Children Who Survived Boko Haram Attacks Express Their Sad Experience Through Drawing

Some children who survived Boko Haram attacks in some troubled areas of Nigeria have been pictured putting their experience into drawing with pencils and crayons.

The children were among the lucky few that escaped death after the Boko Haram insurgents attacked their communities.

The several traumatic killings they experienced during the numerous attacks by the Islamist extremists were expressed through art.

They are currently at a refugee camp run by UNICEF very close to Baga Sola in Chad.

(Photo Credit: AP)

Patience Jonathan Arrives Abuja Aboard Emirates Airlines —

Patience Jonathan Arrives Abuja Aboard Emirates Airlines

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While speculations were rife over the whereabouts of the First Lady, Mrs Patience Jonathan, since the March 28 presidential election, which saw President Goodluck Jonathan heroically conceding defeat to President-elect Muhammadu Buhari, THISDAY can authoritatively confirm that the first lady had been outside the country from where she returned on Tuesday.

She arrived the Nnamdi Azikiwe International Airport, Abuja via Emirates Airlines.

While our source could not confirm the country she was coming from when the plane landed at about 5.30p.m. local time, Mrs. Jonathan’s arrival had put to rest the speculation of her whereabout.

The reason for the trip was however not disclosed.

Airport sources told THISDAY that the Emirate flight which brought her carried regsitration nos: A6-EWH, with over 201 passengers on arrival.
On arrival, the outgoing first lady was briskly escorted to the presidential wing by security officials where three official Mercedes Benz cars were positioned for her.

Also, a milk colour bus joined the three Mercedez Benz cars to escort her to the Presidential Villa.

The source, who confirmed the first lady’s arrival, hinted that unlike the usual large crowd which usually accompany her on both local and oversea trips, this time, it was just a handful of close associates adorning native attires and about two wearing suits and trousers.

THISDAY checks revealed that Mrs Jonathan’s last public outing was on March 28 in Otuoke, Bayelsa State, the country home of the president, where she cast her vote in accompany of her husband.

Also speaking with THISDAY on condition of anonymity, a clergy man familiar with the religious engagements of the first lady said she was conspicuously absent at last Sunday Easter celebration at the Villa.

See Governor Fashola laps his Wife in Loved Up Beautiful 2in1 Photos —
APC, Security Agents Scheme To Conduct Rivers Election Under Buhari’s Govt– Wike —

APC, Security Agents Scheme To Conduct Rivers Election Under Buhari’s Govt– Wike

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The Peoples Democratic Party governorship candidate in Rivers State, Nyesom Wike, on Wednesday in Port Harcourt, said he had information that the All Progressives Congress in the state is plotting with security agencies postpone Saturday’s election in the state.

The former Minister of State for Education, who made the comment at a peace meeting between him and the APC candidate, Dakuku Peterside, organized by the Commissioner of Police in Rivers, Hossiah Karma, said the PDP and all its supporters would resist any such move.

Wike said, “We need assurance that the security agencies and the APC are not planning to postpone the governorship election. We also need assurance that the security agencies and the APC are not planning to do something that will lead to the cancellation of the election that may lead to the election being conducted again under Buhari’s administration.

“Our Chairman, Felix Obuah, was threatened on Tuesday night by some persons, who told him that he could not hide. We are fully prepared for the election. If they like, let them bring the chairman of APC to conduct the election, we will still win,” he said at the meeting attended by service commanders and prominent politicians from across both camps in the state.

Chairman of the APC in Rivers, Dr. Davies Ikanya, said they had lost confidence in the Independent National Electoral Commission boss in the state, Mrs. Gecila Khan, to conduct Saturday’s governorship poll as a result of her support for the PDP.

Ikanya accused Khan of recruiting PDP members as INEC ad-hoc staff, who in turn, manipulated results in favour of the party.

he said, “The APC wants the security agencies to take a roll call of the 26,009 ad-hoc staff which INEC in Rivers State is using to conduct the election, so that we can properly identify the genuine youth corpers. We are saying that the REC has allowed the PDP to smuggle the names of its members into the list of ad-hoc staff.

“Mrs. Khan has repeatedly turned down our request to verify the list of the ad-hoc staff. She has substituted 50 per cent of the original names with members of the PDP. At the presidential election, we did not see result sheets. How can there be peace when she has bluntly refused to listen to our complaints.”

The Rivers Police commissioner called on all parties to ensure a peaceful exercise on Saturday.

Anyone caught fomenting trouble, he warned, would be heavily dealt with.

He warned uniformed officers, not on duty, not to appear in their regalia on Saturday as doing so would earn them severe punishment.